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I had overwhelming student loans, made much less money then him, and in those years right after September 11, I stopped being able to fly and was harassed on those Washington, D. Even I couldn’t quite grasp what was happening to my South Asian and Muslim communities – how could he could ever understand? People haven’t forgetten about Gandhi.” *** When you are dating as a woman of color, it’s a struggle. You wonder what your significant other will say when they see the peeling paint on the walls of your parents’ house, or the roof that needs repair.

Around the 2004 election season cycle, our relationship started getting tense. But when you are “poor” and dating, the struggles are nuanced and different. How what you thought was a middle class home will be perceived as less than when viewed by privileged eyes.

We met when were both in our early twenties working as community organizers in Washington, D. He grew up in a well-to-do family in an idyllic community just outside of D. They had oil paintings on the wall, candlesticks on the dining table, and ordered steak through the mail. I helped unwrap heirloom ornaments for their Christmas tree.

During those years, I was also learning about what it means to be a person of color and how white supremacy plays out in the U. In the petri dish of our relationship, I noticed how his white privilege compared to my lack thereof. Though it was comforting to be in a relationship, I still had to explain a lot of what it meant for me to feel exoticized, persecuted, and marginalized.

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