Suppose you had treatment-resistant depression (or any chronic mental illness), assuming that you had been going the medication-and-therapy route for years to no avail, and that you were doing all you could to help yourself in your condition, but that you were just not able to function on the same level as a healthy person (i.e., too unstable to keep a job, on social assistance, disability status, etc.).
Assume also that you had had this condition your entire adult life and did not expect to get better any time soon–unless there was a significant breakthrough in the field of antidepressants or therapy techniques. How would you find a partner who would accept that you were not healthy and could not have a job or “contribute” to society, but could still love you for you?
The best metaphor, I think, would be having an autistic child.
I have a friend who has one and it’s incredibly emotionally draining on him. So while I’m extremely sorry for the loneliness you feel, your therapists are ultimately right.
That being said, it’s important to know that dating someone who is dealing with this type of thing can make you feel really lost sometimes, especially if you don’t deal with depression yourself.